MOPS

Dear Walter's Wife,
What did you and your husband do to make sure you were making time for just the two of you? Were there things you did intentionally to bond on a deeper level than just the daily "what's for dinner" and "how was work today"? With an infant and a two year old the day gets hectic real quick and we are exhausted by the end of the day.

Ah, I remember those days as if they were yesterday. Is your husband your priority? Do you cherish him and the time you choose to spend together? My first idea is to have your family on a schedule. Children are demanding our time and energy and it is a challenge to balance the time and energy you expel to them and still have energy left for Dad. Remember that our children travel through our homes on the way to homes of their own - Dads remain with us.

Here are a couple of ideas to consider. Dad has had a full day himself and he's tired when he gets home too. As it is important for him to spend time with the children, schedule that for while you are preparing dinner. After dinner, spend time with all of you together. Create a regular routine that the children will recognize each evening. Such as: dinner, playtime, bathtime, storytime, bedtime. Walter and I agreed it was important for us to "make time" for each other without the children. We established bedtime for the children to be 8 p.m. After that bedtime story, it was a drink, bathroom time and off to bed they went. They were NEVER invited into our private time. 8 p.m. was time for Dad and we held to it. As our funds would allow, we had "dates" outside our home and we promoted that to the children as their "special" game night with the sitter. It was a fun time created just for them, so in their eyes the focus was not that we were leaving them, they were having a special treat.

Now, for those "Dates" that Daddys like to have on occasion, you can plan for that too. When the children go down for their afternoon nap, Mommy should nap too. Unplug the phone and relax so that you are mentally prepared for your "Date". Try this for deeper insight into your husband- After the children are in bed, unplug the phone, light some candles and sit facing one another, hold hands and just talk. Reconnecting on a mental level will help you to reconnect on all levels. This is a season of life that is hectic, for sure. Your creativity and desire to cherish and love your husband will send him a message of respect.