MOPS

Dear Walter's Wife,
We are really struggling with how to evenly divide the holidays up with my parents and in-laws this year. We very rarely see my own parents at holiday time, but they've just informed us that they're coming for Thanksgiving this year. I'd really love to be with them, but this is the year for the entire family to gather at my in-law's house. I tried to tactfully bring the subject up with my mother-in-law, but the distinct feeling that they won't budge. She also mentioned (more than once) that it's rare when all of her grandchildren are in the same house all at once. I felt so guilty. My husband doesn't seem to care one way or the other about it. I really feel frustrated with the whole thing, but my kids rarely get to see my parents, so I really want to spend the holiday with them. Any ideas?

Dear Struggling,
I'm not clear on how long your parents will be in town. Is there a good relationship between your parents and your in-law's? So I'll try to answer assuming that your parents are in town for just the day and that they are cordial with your in-laws. I would ask your husband to talk to your Mother-In-Law and ask her if you could bring your parents along as your guests. You may have to share your time with other family members, but you are still with your parents.
The other possibility would be to have a noon dinner with your parents and make a visit to your In-Laws later in the afternoon. It maybe important to your In-Laws that photos of the family be taken since everyone will be there.
If your In-Laws live a long distance away and splitting the day will not work, then a decision will have to be made. Sit down with your husband and explain how you feel, then listen to how he feels and come to a respectful decision between the two of you.
The Holidays can be so joyful and it's also stressful. Always remember that your primary loyalty is to your husband. He is the person you must compromise with in the end.
Just remember that communication is key to all relationships. Keeping peace at home is always your first priority.
I wish you and your family a wonderful Thanksgiving celebration.
Walters Wife

With the cold months up ahead (although you would not know it this week) I am devoting this week's Works for Me to what parents should or should not do in the bitter cold with your children. My own one solid piece advice is to have hot chocolate and marshmallows on hand. That way when you want your child(ren) to come inside you can bribe them to come in voluntarily. I have also heard of parents bringing the snow into the bathtub on days when it is too cold to take the children out. This next portion is actually a few tips on frostbite that you might or might not have heard before. I pulled from my "It Worked For Me" book, which is a compilation book distributed by Parent's Magazine.

To prevent frostbite:
DO give a child plenty of fluids and a hearty meal or snack before she goes outside. This helps blood distribute heat to the body's extremities.
DO teach your child to learn the warning signs of frostbite and to come indoors if they get wet or at the first sign of numbness. (For younger children, you will be the one pointing this out to them)

DO bring a child indoors for change of clothes immediately if she gets at all wet.

Warning signs of frostbite:
Ice crystals form on the skin
Sufferer feels pain and burning sensation as skin begins to thaw.
Skin turns red, pale, or white.
Skin blisters and/or dark patches form under the skin.

To treat frostbite:
DO bring your child indoors at once.
DO cover the affected areas with extra clothing, a warm, wet washcloth or blankets. As rewarming occurs, your child should feel a tingling and burning sensation and the skin should turn red.
DO seek medical attention if the skin blisters, if you see dark blue or black areas under the skin or if the skin remains numb and/ or painful after 15 minutes of warming.
DO dry the affected areas. Wrap in sterile dry clothes, separating finger and toes if you can't see a doctor right away.
DON'T apply heat from heating pads, which could burn numb skin.
DON'T rub sensitive frostbitten skin, which can cause further damage.

Okay, your turn now. What have you done, or heard of others doing, when it comes to children playing outside in the winter months?

This recipe came from my mother. It was the first dinner I prepared for my darling husband back when we were dating. I served it with apple sauce and Mountain Dew. :) This is back when we used to drink Mountain Dew like it was a dietary supplement that should not be missed. My husband (boyfriend at the time) ate seconds and thirds. Needless to say, I have been making it ever since.

What you need:
1-2 eggs, uncooked
1 lb chicken cut into pieces
1 tsp. garlic (1-2 garlic cloves)
1-2 cups rice cooked
vegetable oil
soy sauce
Frozen veges (we use peas, carrots, green beans blend)

Begin to cook rice, according to the directions on the package. Pour 2-3 Tbs. oil into skillet and begin to heat oil. Toss in 1-2 eggs and scramble. Add 1-2 cloves garlic and chicken. Allow to cook until chicken is no longer pink on the inside. Throw in vegetables and cook for 6-8 minutes or until veggies are tender. Stir in rice and soy sauce. (more or less according to taste)

To healthify this recipe substitute the following:
olive oil for veggie oil
brown rice for white rice
low sodium soy sauce for regular soy sauce.
For whatever reason, growing up, we always at this with apple sauce on the side. :)

ENJOY!

Dear Walter's Wife,
I have an almost 5 year old who argues constantly, even when he doesn't have a real reason. We've tried time outs, taking away priveledges and nothing really seems to help.

Raising children can be ever so rewarding and also be very tiring and trying at best. Having a child that argues can pin your patience to the wall for sure. Let's take a look at arguing for what it is - it's to give reasons for or against something. While your childs way of expressing himself maybe annoying, you want to be attentive to his thoughts and guide him to respect you as his parent. It's a good lesson to teach at a young age that we all have a point of view. Expressing those with respect to the other person is the art. Arguing should never be done to belittle or make the other person feel bad.

When you have a conversation and he begins to argue, ask him a question like "Why do you think that would be?" "Tell me how that would work?" "How would that make your feel?" When you carry on a conversation with your child it shows that you hear what he is saying. That means a lot to a child. It also tells them that you value what they have to say. Taking time to listen and hear what your child is saying speaks volumns in building their self esteem and self worth. It also teaches them to be good listeners as well.

Clearly there is a difference between wanting his time to express his opinion and be heard, and being disrespectful to parents by arguing for the sake of arguing. Being disrespectful to ones parent is never acceptable and should be dealt with swiftly. Walter and I agreed on Proverbs 13:23. We did not spare the rod. It was never a "thing" that was used, such as a belt or paddle. It was our hand, so that we could exercise control. Our children learned at a young age that being mouthy and disrespectful was never tolerated. Let your child see that you love them enough not to tolerate disrespect.

Sometimes Children argue out of frustration from not feeling valued or from the lack of being heard. Try to bring yourself down to their level of thinking. By asking them questions about what they are saying, you may get to the bottom of the reason for the arguing. Still hold your ground as the parent and do not tolerate disrespect. Proverbs 22:6 says "Train up a child in the way he should go, Even when he is old he will not depart from it."

Does cleaning your house seem like an impossible task when you are the MOP? (mother of a preschooler) At some point in just about every other day I think that I have finally gotten my house to a point of cleanliness that I can stand and then 10 minutes later, or one meal later, it seems to be all undone. As a mother, anything that can be done (as in finished/ completed/ DONE) will be undone...it's only a matter of time. Today I was reminded, though, that these days will not last forever and there will come a day when we can spend all the time we want on the dishes. Of course, I was also reminded that then it won't mean that much to me. :) (sigh) LIFE and all it's complexities. I am certainly not the one to talk to you if you are looking for how to keep your house in tip top shape at all times, but I have learned a thing or two for right before guests come over. ;)

Okay, so here are a few housecleaning shortcuts:

Create a cleaning carryall
This is not one I personally do, because I store my cleaning supplies under the sinks in my bathroom and my kitchen. If your house is large enough, though, it might help to have all your cleaning supplies in one bucket, along with a paper towel roll.

Use the dishwasher
The other day I was going to clean off and bring all the toys from the sandbox in. As I was freezing my digits off, using the frigid water from our garden hose to clean each individual one. it dawned on me: "I could use these fingers again someday. Maybe I should stop before the frostbite is so bad that the doctor has to amputate my hands off." DISHWASHER! It's for more than just your dishes. :)

...or the bathtub
For those huge toys that you wish you never bought because they take up half of your child's room. :) (it's okay, you can sell it at your next garage sale) Also, if you are cleaning a huge mass of toys all at once the tub can be your friend. Just add some dish washing liquid and scrub a dub with a dishtowel. When you are done lay them out to dry on a beach towel.

Dust off those old socks
Put one old sock on each hand and "wax on" and "wax off". Give your children a sock and let them help you with the coffee table and end tables while you get the entertainment center.

Use paper plates
I was talking to my friend not too long ago about how there was always a pile of dishes in my kitchen. I just couldn't keep up with them all. She suggested using paper plates for a week. I realize that this does not make me "green" at a time when everyone is supposed to be all about saving the planet, but you know what...that week was a little easier on me, at a time when I needed it.

Swap time to clean with a friend, or two, or three
Once every other week I am given two hours of no children in the house to do some kind of uninterrupted deep cleaning. Last time I cleaned out my refrigerator. I send my children to my friend's house and she watches them for two hours. On my off weeks she sends her darling to come and play at our house. It's great for our kids because they have a lot of fun together. It's great for us because we desperately need that time.

And lastly...
Work to music. You'll get a little pep in your step.
Set a timer so you are as efficient as you can be in 20 minutes. Try to beat the clock.

Okay, your turn. What have you done around your house to make clean up a little easier?

For whatever reason, I cannot get the pics onto this blog today. (I'll ask my husband about it later) If you are interested in seeing the recipe with pictures you can go here.

Ingredients:
I Jiffy Box of Corn Muffin Mix
1/4 cup Flour
1/4 cup Milk
1 egg
2 Tbs. Chilli Powder
1 tsp. Parsley
1 can Chili (they said with no beans, but we used beans)
2 cups Shredded Cheddar cheese

Mix all the ingredients in a bowl except for the can of chili and the cheddar cheese. On a floured surface knead the dough 10-15 times until it is easy enough to work with.
Roll out dough into a 9"x11" pan that has been greased. I had to use extra flour to get rid of some of the stickiness. Use the back of a spoon if you do not have a one-handed rolling pin.
Use the back of a spoon to spread the chili over the corn bread mixture.
Sprinkle cheese over the beans. Cook in a 400 degree oven for 15-20 minutes.
Taken from a Jiffy mixes Recipe book.
Dinner is served.

Several of you have been posting comments since our last MOPS meeting! :) How encouraging! We hope you are all learning from each other as well as connecting with each other. If you have posted since our last meeting you will be entered into our drawing to win a gift bag. You may also post between now and Tuesday at midnight to be entered into our next drawing, which will take place at our MOPS meeting. Here are the gift bags you will be able to choose from:

Winner will be picked at the next MOPS meeting on November 20. Winner will be given the opportunity to see the gift baskets up close and pick one at that time.

For those of you who are/ were interested in making your own baby food, I had done a post before on how it could save quite a bit of money, and went through the steps to making your own. I have taken pictures since then of the steps, for all of our visual learners out there. :) Also, I wanted to add a couple of practical tips that I forgot to mention before. The pictures are a demonstration of doing pears. (Keely's favorite)
Here's the pics:

Pick out your food you will be cooking. (Pears, apples, peaches, squash, zucchini, etc.)

Core and chop food into chunks. (you may also peel the food, but you don't have to)

Cook into boiling water until extremely tender. Drain.

Mix in your blender or food processor with just a little water.

Pour into ice cube trays and allow to freeze completely. Once frozen, put into a large freezer ziploc bag labeled with name of food, date it was made, and when it should be used by. (Should be used within 6 months)

Extra tip: Add more water if you are having a hard to blending chunks of food. Add a little baby cereal (oatmeal or rice cereal) if you find that it has too much water and the food seems runny to you.

Do you feel like a good mom? I bet you are a GREAT mom! It is easy to get hung up on what other mom's are doing that makes them better than you are. Since I am the master at this I thought I would take a moment to encourage you all as I have been encouraged. A few things have been brought to my attention lately, and I thought I might share. This might not sound like "news" to you, but comparing yourself to other moms is not fair. Here are some reasons why:

1. Every child is different, just as all humans are different. From birth, they are all different. I hated hearing that my friend's baby was sleeping 12 hours a night when she was 3 months old because it made me feel like I was doing something wrong since my child wasn't. This next statement is actually meant to be an encouragement: Some children are much more difficult than other children. Your child might be "spirited" while another child might be "shy". Call it whatever you want...the bottom line is this: You are not dealing with the same child as anyone else.

2. Every mom is different. Your personality is uniquely your own. You temperament is more or less intense than another persons, and your needs are different as well. Do you have a need to get out of the house? Did you know that some moms actually would prefer not to leave the house? :) God bless you if that is you. It just drives me nuts when I don't get out of the house. When I would talk to a mom who was happy to be in her cute little 3 bedroom ranch, feeling blessed as she was cooking, cleaning, and taking care of her children I would immediately go into negative personal dialogue. "I will never be that mom, but I should be!" I would beat myself up in my mind daily. Your personality is more or less conducive to being the mom that keeps the house in tip top shape while whistling a tune for the children to hear. While I struggle in one area, someone else is struggling in another area. What I want to tell you is this: Give yourself grace, and others as well. We've all been dealt a different hand, and we're all doing the best we know how with what we have been given.

3. Every circumstance is different. Do you stay at home, work outside, have an infant, have three children, have a husband who cleans, etc, etc. No family is going through all the same things. Your stress is not the same as another mom's stress. What you should hear is this: God will give YOU the strength YOU need for the unique situation YOU are in.

4. It will get better. (This is my favorite one) If this is not "the best time of your life" please know that it won't always be this way. Someday your children will be in 3rd grade! :) I happen to be someone who cannot get enough of grade school children, so this helps me. What helps you? Someday your children will.... (fill in the blank) Whatever it is, know this: If it doesn't seem all that great to you right now, it will get better.
Extra thought: My son woke up at 5:00 this morning and wanted to crawl into our bed. Our full size bed. ;) Problem is, he stretches himself out and there is no room for us. I suppose I had enough sleep by then because all I could think is "someday he's going to be a 12 year old that would not dare sleep in the same bed with his mother". I scooped him up and put him between me and his father. I think this would count as one of those "enjoy this time because it will pass" moments that moms of older children tell you about.

Isn't it good to go through motherhood together? It's nice to have each other. We have a lot to learn from one another. You are doing a GREAT JOB as a mother. Look at you! You do a lot. You should be proud of all you do for the good of your family. Your reward will come. God sees it all and knows it all. He does not compare you to the mom next door. He knows the completely unique place that you are in. KEEP IT UP! Final encouragement is this: You will be blessed for all your are doing now. (even if it is just to survive this day) Hang in there! Your blessings are coming.

Your turn: What is something you have heard that has been an encouragement to you as a mother? Take a moment to comment. It might encourage another mother at just the right time.

How do I get my son to stop crying every time he is dropped off in his class at Church, MOPS, or the babysitter? How do I get him to stop throwing temper tantrums?

Dear Mom of Cryer,
I believe you have a situation that is very normal. Separation anxiety occurs in many children. How long it lasts and how it will end depends on several factors. If you are certain the environment he is going to is safe, friendly and fun, then you need to understand and accept that he knows exactly how his behavior is making you feel. My son used to cry desperately when I dropped him off. I knew he was in a safe place, with friendly people and was going to be involved in a lot of fun activities. Yet, each and every time I dropped him off, he would cling and cry hysterically. I would literally have to pry him off my legs, hold him in my arms and reassure him I would be back in a short time. He cried out the window as I was leaving. His teacher finally told me that as soon as he didn't see me anymore, the tears stopped and off to play he went. I hate to tell you this, but sometimes it is more about us than them. Kids learn really fast what is working for them and what is not. If the crying keeps you there longer, it's working for him and he'll keep it up.

The good thing is that you can be sure you have formed a very strong bond with him, or he wouldn't be so upset when you leave. He will come to learn that not only will you leave, but that you WILL return and be very happy to see him again. Be pleasant, loving and firmly say good bye with an explanation of when you will return and then do it. Walk away and return when you said you would. This will instill dependability in your word and he will know you mean what you say.

As you talk to your son, ask him about the children in his class. Perhaps you could meet one of the Mom's for a playtime at your home. This is his safe place, and as they get to know each other and play well in your home, you can then go visit his home. With you being right there, he can see that he can have a fun, safe time playing with his friend without anxiety at all.
Consider working out a time to meet the other family as they arrive at Church, so that your son is walking into the class with his friend. Once inside the classroom, they together will be distracted by the other children already at play, and leaving you won't be as traumatic.

A comfort level is necessary at any age. He may very well be reacting to your reaction with the situation. If you have a positive attitude, and expect him to act like a "big boy", then he will soon realize that this is expected of him. If you coddle him, and keep delaying leaving or coming back often, it just delays his adjustment.

Don't think that you are alone with this situation. Not at all. But as in every stage of development, this will pass and another adventure will begin.

Ingredients:
Frozen On Cor Chicken Parmesan or Veal Parmesan Dinner
Spaghetti

Directions:
Pop frozen chicken patties into your microwave and cook according the directions on the package.

Cook spaghetti according the directions on the package.

Plop some cooked spaghetti onto a plate. Plop a chicken patty onto the spaghetti noodles.

Our family ABSOLUTELY LOVES this dinner. It can't get any easier to make either. :) Enjoy!
Here is what your child will look like during dinner:

Here is what your plate will look like after dinner:

Okay, mommas out there. Works for Me Wednesday is being posted on Monday this week, because I just can't wait to share this with you all. Are you having a hard time coming up with reasons to be thankful this Thanksgiving? It's possible that you have been given more than you know what to do with? Works for Me Wednesday this week is actually an invitation to be inspired. I have talked about moneysavingmom.com in my financial blurbs at our last couple of MOPS meetings. Today there was a guest post called "The Freedom of Limitations" on this website. I really think you will be blessed by it. Take a moment to read it. If it means something to you feel free to add a comment telling us what you thought of it. Go here to read the post. Be blessed. Happy Thanksgiving!

Dear Walters Wife,
How do I get my kids to act like they do at school (angels) at home? The teachers couldn't stop talking about their helpful and thoughtful behavior.

My first thought is GREAT JOB PARENTS! You have obviously done a great job of teaching your children proper etiquette and compassionate insight. Even better news is that they are using it appropriately. Take it as a compliment and be very proud.
Home is a safe haven for each of us. It's a place where we can relax and just be ourselves. It's normal for kids to "let down their hair" a little at home. It's obvious that you have taught them well, now, encourage that same behavior at home in a gentle, loving and consistent way. While you can allow them to be comfortable at home with their own family, courtesy is still expected. Each family member needs to receive the same kind of respect and courtesy that folks outside our homes receive. If you continue to encourage them along these lines, I know you will see results. Just expect them to be more relaxed with those they know love them even when they let those manners slip occasionally. Children are like little sponges, they absorb everything around them. Continue to lead by example with your own actions and they will pick up those habits. They will realize that it makes them feel special when they are treated the way you expect them to treat others. There no better place to begin than in your home. It's sounds like you are doing a great job right now, just keep up that same persistent example and your consistency will pay off. It takes lots of love and patience to raise respectful adults.

Baked cheesy chicken and biscuits
Use leftover turkey in place of chicken, if you have any.

I would suggest a few things:
1. To save some prep time: Bake the chicken (baking it makes it juicy!) ahead of time
2. Have a sink full of soapy water to put diry dishes in to save clean-up time
3. Make a double batch if you are serving more than 4 people.

This is what you need:

Ingredients: 1 can cream of chicken soup, 3/4 cup sour cream (divided), 2 cups chopped cooked chicken, 1 pkg. frozen mixed veggies (thawed), 1 cup shredded cheddar cheese, 1 cup baking mix, 3 tbs. milk., 8 inch baking dish (or larger if you double)

Step 1: Preheat oven to 375 degrees.
Step 2: Mix soup and 1/2 cup sour cream in a bowl (or your baking dish)
Step 3: Add sour cream and soup mixture to thawed veggies
Step 4: Add chicken to mixture and 2 cups of cheese
Step 4: Mix together
Step 5: Mix 1 cup baking mix with 1/4 cup sour cream and 3 tbsp. milk
Step 6: Stir until dough forms
Step 7: Spread mixture into pan and dollop biscuit dough on top
Step 8: Bake at 375 for 35 minutes or until golden brown and bubbly.

Thanks to Sarah for the idea!