Dear Walter's Wife,
Help! Christmas is almost here and once again we will be expected to "make the rounds". My husband's parents expect us to be with them every Christmas and my parents expect us every Christmas Eve. They all think they are being fair in splitting the holiday time, but honestly, my husband and I are tired of dragging 3 kids around until they are exhausted. How can we break this yearly holiday cycle and begin some traditions of our own? Is it too late to do something this year? Stressed.
Dear Stressed,
Walter and I went through this same dilema ourselves when our children were very young. What was supposed to be a joyful time was indeed very stressful, often winding up with cranky, tired children. As we shared our thoughts with friends, we found some wise ideas to consider for changing. Here are a few of them.
Combine our families together at our home on Christmas Eve, beginning in the afternoon and ending in time for the children to be off to bed at a normal hour. Christmas day was then relaxed and stressfree.
Maintain an open door policy for family to drop by to share the day.
Alternate sharing the Christmas day with each family every other year on the DAY of Christmas. Have the other family gathering on the weekend prior.
Have a progressive dinner with each family hosting a dish - Grandma # 1 for appetizers and
soup, Grandma # 2 for the main course and Your home for Jesus Birthday Cake and opening gifts. That way when the children open gifts they don't have to leave them behind to go visiting.
Keep holidays simple. When it's elaborate, it becomes stressful.
Remember the "reason for the season" and celebrate the Birth of Christ with awe and wonder of God's greatest gift to us.
As far as making a change this year, consider these things:
Preparations may have already begun with the parents - don't be disrespectful by pulling
out of the mix at the last minute -
Communication is key to change. Try to help them remember what it was like for them with all the Holiday travel. If that wasn't their experience, or they don't remember, just explain how you feel. Have a plan for next year and announce it far enough in advance that no feelings will be hurt. Avoid bringing up the subject of changing things unless you have a solution to your problem first.
Anytime you are making arrangements that involve many people and many households, compromise is essential to harmony.
Keep Joy, Peace and Love at the center of plans so that you can avoid conflict.
Walter and I wish you a blessed Christmas celebration and hope the New Year brings you blessings beyond measure.
Walters Wife